Paramedic Perspective: Never Forget the Wisdom of the ‘Shirky Principal’

“Institutions will try to preserve the problem to which they are the solution.” (Clay Shirky)

So our advice for the day? Keep this in mind the next time the wacky world of medicine tries to lure you into an annual flu shot.  Chances are . . . your immune system knows best how to handle the occasional cootie. It’s been around a lot longer; it knows you far better . . . and it never asks for cash.



How gullible are YOU in the face of incessant medical advertising?





Woman Fools Hospitals and Husband: For 10 Years, They All Thought She Was a Doctor

One of the state of Ohio’s freakier females was convicted last week in a rather strange case. She was found guilty in superior court of Fraud and Child Endangerment, in a case that revealed – among other stretches of credulity  – that she had tricked her entire family for an entire decade into believing she was a physician.

Monika Burgett

Monika Burkett fooled doctors, nurses and her entire family for years. She kept her son sick because she absolutely craved the drama.

She must have been pretty good at putting on her “con” face. She convinced the medical staff at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Center that she was an MD, too.

Burgett “became a member the health care team,” as her then-3-year-old son was treated with drugs including Oxycodone and methadone, Dr. Robert Shapiro testified Tuesday in Burgett’s trial.

Investigators in Cincinnati discovered that Monika Burgett, age 39, had also routinely lied about her 5-year-old son having cancer. She did so in order to collect GoFundMe donations. She even shaved the little boy’s head and eyebrows, so that he would look like a cancer patient in internet photos.

NBC 11Alive in Cincinnati  reported that Burgett’s lies finally caught up to her after law enforcement started looking into the GoFundMe fraud last year.

“I was hurt. I was confused. I didn’t understand why she would do this.” (Husband Jonathan Burgett)

During her 5-day trial last week, a child abuse expert testified that Burgett actually suffers from Munchausen Syndrome by proxie – a form of mental illness, when a parent either imagines fake illnesses for a child, or causes them. 

Police were able to determine that Burgett raised at least $40,000 from strangers, who donated to her GoFundMe pages for her youngest son. The child – age 3 at the time – did have  some  medical conditions, including neurofibromatosis – a genetic disease. But he does not have cancer.

Once the boy was removed from his mother and placed in child protection, he began to eat and play and thrive. He was running all over the place and laughing. He was just a cute little happy kid.” (Prosecutor Robert Shapiro)

Our Observations:

So yes, manic Monika Burgett did a no-no, and pretended to be a doctor. But let us all – just for a moment – put her case into perspective. Number one, she didn’t kill her patient. 

And number two, countless thousands of real doctors lie and steal and injure and kill more sick people everyday, than any of us can count. So you tell us who really has Munchausen Syndrome by proxie.

Societal insanity is best graded on the curve.

Here’s another look:

Is It Sunday? Cool. Time For The Lighter Side of Health Insignifica

The walking, talking creature called “you” is a serious concatenation of intricate systems. And if you think doctors aren’t pretty nearly as baffled by your corpus as you are, you just don’t know much about the human body (or the mental limitations of doctors). Here are just a few little curiosities we’ve found oddly entertaining over the years:

  1. Your brain’s electrical output could power a string of 50, small LED Christmas lights.  In fact, the brain generates as much energy as a 10-watt light bulb, even while you’re sleeping.

    Brain lights

  2. Speaking of sleep, experts believe the higher your intelligence, the more you dream.  Don’t know if smarter folks have scarier nightmares, but dumbness always scares us.
  3. Your fastest growing nail is on the middle finger. We suspect they noticed this in heavy traffic, with all the outraged drivers flipping them the . . . nail.


    We owe them considerably more than we realize

  4. You very likely sprout as many hairs per square-inch on your skin as a chimpanzee. So next time you hear anybody deny “evolution” ask them politely why that biological fact should possibly be?
  5. The acid in your stomach could easily dissolve a razorblade. Hydrochloric acid is what it is, and if you’ve ever had a bout of heartburn, you know how nasty stomach acid can be. We don’t suggest you swallow a razor to find out, but if you decide to do so, please contact us and report how well that worked out for you. We’ll publish it because that’s the way we are.


  6. Women blink twice as many times as men do per minute. Suppose that’s because they’re so often shocked by all the goofiness going on around them?


  7. Pretty much all Caucasian babies are born with blue eyes. You didn’t know that, did you? It’s because melanin – which is what causes darkening – isn’t fully set until about 24 months after birth.
  8. Most so-called “heart attacks” happen on Monday. Unless . . . unless, you routinely have Monday as a day off from work. Enough said?
  9. Your body’s arteries, veins and capillaries circulate your blood through about 50,000 miles of internal pipes. In an imaginably huge circle, that’s two trips around the earth.94752094  53616c7465645f5f9cca3fcc4a40cd806bab2fd6e705c613e3a72
  10.  You are almost always about one-half inch shorter at the end of the day than you are when you wake up. That’s because the cushioning material between your spinal vertebrae – the disc-shaped cartilages – get compressed by all of your daily activities as the hours go by. So when a bat sleeps upside down, he is simply regaining his normal waking height. Okay, so we don’t actually know that.
  11. With the exception of koalas, humans and apes are the only animals with fingerprints. Again, for the doubters, ask yourself that thing about evolution.LADY SMELLERS
  12. Women are far, far better “smellers” than men. Thus, perfumes and colognes are a $1,000,000,000 industry . . . guys can’t smell stinkies and . . . you know the rest.

Have a super weekend, Readers. And thank you for dropping by. We’ll be back tomorrow with more wacky MD stories because . . . well, the daffy-doctor freight-train just keeps right on chugging along, day after day, year after year, tooting its ridiculous horn.



Nevada Immigrant Doctor Jorge Burgos Assaults 7 Patients; Get 7 Days in Jail. Ole!

(We are indebted to Charles Weston, DoctorWatchdog, for advising us of this case)

Yesterday in the city of Las Vegas a freaky physician was sentenced to a jaw-dropping 7 days in jail, after sexually assaulting 7 different women during medical exams at his clinic. And no, we’re not kidding.


Dr Jorge Burgos

“Are you going to get me in trouble for doing that?” (Doctor Jorge Burgos, to patient he had just assaulted in a Las Vegas exam room)


The punishment – if any normal person can call it that – for Doctor Jorge Burgos, means this lab coat lunatic will serve a whopping 1 day behind bars, for each of the attacks, in return for his confession of Gross Lewdness Involving Patients. 

“You are ordered to reflect, each day, about what you did to each of these women.” (Clark County District Judge Richard Scotti) 

Well, damn it, that oughta teach him. 

After the sentencing, Crane Pomerantz – and that would be the daffy doc’s lawyer – asked the judge if his medical miscreant client could serve his 7 days on weekends. Yeah, he really did. After all, his 168-hours behind bars shouldn’t have to be served all in a row. That might interfere with his appointment schedule. As is typical when it comes to weenie legal “punishment” of MDs meted out by the courts, the judge agreed. The last thing the judge would want to do is inconvenience a sexual predator.

“This event, this series of events, have caused Doctor Burgos great shame.” (Attorney Crane Pomerantz)

News flash: The idiot’s idiot behavior embarrassed him when people found out. Who knew?

The doctor, who was first arrested September 21 of last year, was handcuffed and taken away once again in October when more victims came forward . But his first known chimp-on-chocolate behavior was actually reported by a woman as far back as 2011. But no charges were filed and of course the nutcase continued on his merry way.

“You must take a 4-hour online course on “victim empathy” and attend therapy sessions.” (Judge Richard Scotti)

Well just grab your giggling guppies. That oughta teach him.

Bawdy Burgos, who has actually lived to be 50 without being throttled by a spouse of his victims,  was originally charged on 16 counts of Gross Lewdness. All but 3 charges were dropped when he agreed to confess.

According to the court record, at least 6 other women patients reported to Las Vegas Police that “the doctor kissed, groped and touched them inappropriately” while he supposedly performed physical exams at his clinic. 

One woman described an encounter when Burgos lifted her blouse, opened her bra and started kissing her breasts.  Complaints by other victims were similar in nature.

After this wholly ridiculous, slap on the poopy-butt sentencing, the doctor hugged his family and smiled for the cameras. He’ll be back to undressing patients on Monday morning. 

The Nevada State Board of Medical Examiners website shows this medical moron as “a physician in good standing.”

Bad-boy Burgos’ clinic happens to be located at 1815 E Lake Mead Blvd, Suite 314, in North Las Vegas, Nevada 89030. If you or your family are in need of a doctor, you might want to make a note.

Our Observation:

Bad-boy Burgos is an excellent example of what is known in the halls of medicine as a Third World Assassin. He immigrated here from the Dominican Republic after attending the  University Nacional P H Urena in  Santa Domingo in the 1990s. Like many foreign-born MDs, he has found the U.S. system easy pickings for his perversions. In a sane society, this urban gorilla in a lab coat would have been deported immediately. Instead, he’ll lay low for a while and then his sexual exploits will be back in the news again.

Oh, you can count on it.

Here’s another peek at this rarely discussed problem of physician predators:






Are You a Sex-Predator Doctor With a Revoked License? Not a Problem. There are 38 Other States You Can Move to

PREDATOR artFor those of us who study it for a living, America’s medical profession is a curious breed of animal. For all of its smiley-face, “Our job is patient safety and public health” head-game flummery, it is stunningly good at hiding its sins and shuffling its sinners. Consider – if you will – the following, good ol’ USA mind-bend.

In most states, you cannot work as a daycare provider. 

But in 38 of our glorious 50 states, sexual pervert physicians can be – and generally are – licensed and legal medical doctors. Medical regulators can decide to grant them licenses – and they do it all the time.

In our review of more than 2,000 disciplined MDs accused of sexual misconduct, we learned that many convicted of felony sexual attacks went right back to undressing people for money after they served their time. And that’s par for the course in most states.

  • New Jersey licensed a physician after he was found guilty of 4 patient sexual assaults. Kansas licensed a doctor while he was still in prison for sexually assaulting a child.
  • Utah licensed an MD who routinely grabbed the genitals of both staff members and patients.
  • Connecticut, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Maryland, Tennessee and the District of Columbia – just to name a few – are states where physicians with criminal sex convictions have been allowed to keep playing doctor.

There have been hundreds of cases where doctors arrested for Rape were allowed to work while their cases were going on.


In Montana, after Dr. Donald Eugene Russell was arrested in 2003 on the charge of molesting 3 children.  The judge in the case allowed him to continue patient contact practicing as long as he had a babysitter while treating kids. Only after the law discovered he had sex with an 84-year-old dementia patient, as well as 3 others, was the board embarrassed enough to revoke his license.

Now, if you care to see to how well your state handles physician sexual predator cases, here’s a fair place to find some information:

And here’s an excellent article on this subject:


How Can We Not Fall in ‘Wiggle-Our-Toes Love’ With Our Gifted Lab Coat Leaders?


In Washington DC there actually exists a medical job title called the Orthopedic Surgeon General of the U.S.  Yes indeed. Now as many of you know, we already have a Surgeon General, the head of the Public Health Service (That’s their nifty warnings on every pack of cigarettes) The person who currently occupies the post of “Orthopod-Surg-Gen” is Doctor Brock Hammersley, and he has seen fit to take time out of his busy schedule to proclaim today a national holiday honoring – you guessed it bones. Yes, today is National Bone Day.


Show a little appreciation, for Heaven’s sake

“Bones mean a lot to me; they mean a lot to all of us in the orthopedic community, and they should mean a lot to every American with a skeleton.” explained Hammersley. “That’s why I’ve created National Bone Day.  So we can reflect and maybe even toast a glass of milk.”

He went on to argue, and correctly so, we must admit, that without our bones known as the skeleton, the rest of our bodies would be weirdly fleshy puddles on the floor, which we’d all keep slipping and sliding on. We wouldn’t be breaking any bones, of course, but you can visualize the problem of bones vs no bones.

“When was the last time we all took a minute to thank our bones?” Hammersley asked.  “We owe them gratitude for their service. They don’t get the glitz & glamour that the face does, nor the flashy PR of sexy abs.  How fair is that?”

So now we suppose we can all look forward to other lab coat libertines naming future holidays after body parts.  We kinda like Tummy Tuesday, and could really take a shine to National Navel Week.

But that’s just us.


America’s Addictions? It All Starts With The Evils of Unethical Advertising. It Ain’t Exactly Rocket Science

Promotes Active Lifestyle! Boosts Personality! Gives Body Essential Sugars!

Why are Americans among the most stupefied, drugged-out primates on the planet? Well, take a peek at this ad from 60 years ago today, before you struggle for an answer . . . .

VINTAGE Coke ad (2)

“For a lifetime of guaranteed happiness.”

Aren’t we the pride of the planet.