Woman Fools Hospitals and Husband: For 10 Years, They All Thought She Was a Doctor

One of the state of Ohio’s freakier females was convicted last week in a rather strange case. She was found guilty in superior court of Fraud and Child Endangerment, in a case that revealed – among other stretches of credulity  – that she had tricked her entire family for an entire decade into believing she was a physician.

Monika Burgett

Monika Burkett fooled doctors, nurses and her entire family for years. She kept her son sick because she absolutely craved the drama.

She must have been pretty good at putting on her “con” face. She convinced the medical staff at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Center that she was an MD, too.

Burgett “became a member the health care team,” as her then-3-year-old son was treated with drugs including Oxycodone and methadone, Dr. Robert Shapiro testified Tuesday in Burgett’s trial.

Investigators in Cincinnati discovered that Monika Burgett, age 39, had also routinely lied about her 5-year-old son having cancer. She did so in order to collect GoFundMe donations. She even shaved the little boy’s head and eyebrows, so that he would look like a cancer patient in internet photos.

NBC 11Alive in Cincinnati  reported that Burgett’s lies finally caught up to her after law enforcement started looking into the GoFundMe fraud last year.

“I was hurt. I was confused. I didn’t understand why she would do this.” (Husband Jonathan Burgett)

During her 5-day trial last week, a child abuse expert testified that Burgett actually suffers from Munchausen Syndrome by proxie – a form of mental illness, when a parent either imagines fake illnesses for a child, or causes them. 

Police were able to determine that Burgett raised at least $40,000 from strangers, who donated to her GoFundMe pages for her youngest son. The child – age 3 at the time – did have  some  medical conditions, including neurofibromatosis – a genetic disease. But he does not have cancer.

Once the boy was removed from his mother and placed in child protection, he began to eat and play and thrive. He was running all over the place and laughing. He was just a cute little happy kid.” (Prosecutor Robert Shapiro)

Our Observations:

So yes, manic Monika Burgett did a no-no, and pretended to be a doctor. But let us all – just for a moment – put her case into perspective. Number one, she didn’t kill her patient. 

And number two, countless thousands of real doctors lie and steal and injure and kill more sick people everyday, than any of us can count. So you tell us who really has Munchausen Syndrome by proxie.

Societal insanity is best graded on the curve.

Here’s another look:



Singapore Surgeon & Wife Fined for Hacking into Each Other’s Computers

Doctor and ex-wife both found guilty of hacking each other’s laptops


A physician in Singapore was fined $13,000 in February after law enforcement determined he had secretly installed a spyware program to intercept private communications belonging to his former wife.


Dr Leo Kah Woon

You should come to me because I’m really smart. Except when I’m being . . . you know . . . stupid.


Doctor Leo Kah Woon, age 42, was employed at Singapore General Hospital when he was discovered to have committed 3 separate crimes, including illegally accessing the hospital’s computer system to search for information on his wife’s secret boyfriend, a man named Ang Choo Pin, back in 2012.

The doctor and his former wife, Nellie Tan Li Khoon, age 39, have two children. She herself was recently fined $3,500 for hiring a private investigator to hack into her ex-husband’s computer. The court heard that Leo had ordered his wife out of their home in September 2012 because he was convinced she was having an affair.

Using the software, he intercepted private information from her e-mails and used the information for their divorce proceedings in the Family Court.

The sneaky doctor had installed key-logging software in his wife’s MacBook Pro laptop, and sent the information to his own e-mail account. Using the software, he illegally recorded his wife’s private communications.

The ex-wife discovered what was going on after she sent her laptop in to be checked for viruses. She then hired a private eye for a similar scam.

In the separate crime of unauthorized access of the hospital computer system, Prosecutor April Phang reported that in September 2012, the doctor suspected that a man who had been a patient at the hospital, Ang Choo Pin, was secretly meeting with his wife. Leo then arranged to have Ang’s wife contacted by his sister, to tell her that her husband was sneaking around with another woman.

Mr Ang filed complaints with the Singapore Medical Council and police that the doctor had abused the state-run hospital computer program to obtain personal information, and made baseless allegations of adultery against him in an effort to destroy his marriage.

The maximum penalty for illegally accessing computer system data in Singapore is a 2- year term in jail.

Dr. Kiersten Cerveny Case: ‘Yes, I Admit I Dragged Her Body Down the Stairway’

Dr Kiersten Cerveny family

We can see at least 3 reasons in this picture for a doctor to not be a cocaine user

In New York City a television producer has confessed in federal court that, well yes, by golly, he did indeed dump the body of an unconscious doctor, on the morning she died of a drug overdose in a Manhattan apartment. Who told?

Marc Henry Johnson

Marc Henry Johnson: movie producer, partier, drug provider, lady OD-body-dumper

The man, Marc Henry Johnson, told Judge Jesse M. Furman that just before daybreak, on the morning of October 5 2015, he helped carry the body of Doctor Kiersten R Cerveny from an apartment on West 16th Street to the lobby of the building downstairs.

Doctor Cerveny was a dermatology specialist on Long Island prior to the reckless partying that killed her.

Johnson, age 52, told the court that he “panicked” when the lady doctor suddenly went limp while slumped in a chair. They had been “partying for hours” since the night before. He said he and a drug dealer named James Holder, moved the unconscious woman from Holder’s apartment and down to the lobby.

If you can’t trust a drug-pushing movie-maker to look out for you, who can you trust?

“Cerveny’s death last year stunned those who knew her in Washington Township, Gloucester County, where she grew up and graduated as valedictorian from the high school in 1995. Students voted her as “Most Studious” and “Most Likely to Succeed.” Family friends called her “the perfect child.” She graduated magna cum laude from Duke University and obtained her medical degree from Tulane University.”

Prosecutors said they would be able to prove that Johnson had purchased cocaine from Holder and offered some to Cerveny as they sat in a bar with acquaintances. Investigators learned that the wayward MD had already been doing cocaine earlier in the evening, while out on the town. Her husband Andrew was home with the kids.

Detectives learned that it was Johnson who called 911, then performed some semblance of CPR on Cerveny, before leaving her body on the floor of the lobby near the door. A security camera caught the cowardly lion running away.

The drugged-out physician, who lived with her husband and children in Manhasset and ran a small clinic in Williston Park, was taken by ambulance to Lennox Hill Hospital, where she was pronounced dead.

Johnson finally admitted also, that he took several actions to hide the facts of the case, and covered up the fact that Holder routinely used the apartment as a drug house. Johnson faces a possible prison term of 2 years. Holder has not yet been sentenced.

And so in the end, the foolish Doctor Kiersten Cerveny – weekend partier, binge drinker and cocaine sniffer –was 38 years old on the day she was buried, and left 3 small children crying on the lawn of the cemetery.

Moral of the story? It is entirely possible to be valedictorian in high school, a former chief of dermatology at Brooklyn Hospital,  and still be dumber than a box of rocks behind closed doors.

Here’s another look into this lab coat lunatic’s case:

Remember Doctor ‘Sneak-a-Snake?’ Convicted of 2 Felonies, Medical Board Says “Keep Your License”

Doctor ‘Sneak-a-Snake’ Gets Slap on the Degreed Tushy for Stalking


How lenient do you suppose the California Medical Board members would be, if they woke up to this in THEIR bedrooms?

In a case that raised eyebrows even within the Twilight Zone of medicine, a Monterey California MD is being allowed to keep her medical license, in spite of her bizarre-world stalking of her estranged doctor-husband. And perhaps the only aspect of this case stranger than the doctors freak-show behavior, is the jaw-dropping decision by the California Medical Board that she still be considered “a physician in good standing”.


Gone are the days when society could shame doctors into civilized behavior

Doctor Mary Kay Brewster, you see, was sentenced last January in Monterey County Court by Judge Mark Hood, to 5 months of “house confinement” and 3 years felony probation.

She was convicted of Felony Vandalism, Felony Stalking and Trespassing. Prosecutor Steven Somers told the court that when the Brewsters’ marriage fell apart, the doctor started a pattern of stalking and harassing her husband and his new girlfriend. Among other teenage shenanigans, she would routinely text profane messages to him, and call his phone over and over throughout the night. A woman scorned, you know.

Brewster, a 58-year-old gynecologist, is well regarded at  Monterey Peninsula Community Hospital, even after her slinky surprise. Patients and staff can be curiously supportive in the face of other people’s reptilian behavior. As long as it isn’t directed at, you know, them.

The criminal investigation revealed that the doctor physically assaulted her ex; poisoned his plants and vandalized  the new girlfriend’s car, a nurse at Community Hospital.

It did not help her case when police found her diary detailing her obsession. A search warrant revealed the writings, with entry after entry showing her preoccupation and hatred of her stalking victims.

Brewster’s revenge culminated when she bought a four-foot-long python and a bagful of live rats at a nearby pet store. She then broke into her ex-husband’s home while he was away  and released the rats and snake in his bedroom. She even left some food for the rats. It was the new girlfriend who stumbled upon the surprises. They say her screams were apparently heard a block away.

Now, will this out-of-control wing nut be allowed to continue treating patients in the state of California?

Of course she will. Just 2 weeks ago she sat in a medical board hearing and was  advised she will not have her medical license revoked. The California State Medical Board is run by – and you may need to hold your ponies here – other doctors. And if you think a group of physicians is going to pull the license of another doctor over vandalism, assault, harassment, breaking & entering, sneaking a large snake into a bedroom, and just all-around garbage-level behavior of trailer trash on steroids – you don’t know much about American medicine’s lab coat conspiracy. 

Take a peek for yourself: Here’s what you’ll find on this medical muttonhead if you decide to search Brewster’s California State Medical Board file:

  License: G 84568
  Case Number: 8002014005285

More Daily Doctor Doo-doo. Take a peek at This Lab-coat Loon in Australia

“We are thankful that this outcome protects the community from this doctor, from practitioners who think they’re above the law. But the sadness never goes away.” (Tracey Wiggins, daughter of the dead mother)


Guess who killed Christine Crickitt?

In Australia’s NSW (New South Wales is a state) Supreme Court earlier today a horny-toad physician was found guilty of Murder in the death of his wife.

Doctor Brian Kenneth Crickitt, a 63-year-old general practitioner in Sidney, was just this morning convicted of killing Christine Crickitt, age 58.

The monster MD had denied murdering his wife, which happened 6 years ago, on New Year’s Eve, 2010 at their Sydney suburb home. Sure, it was New Year’s. And yeah, he had a newly dead wife. And yeah, he had a new, sexy mistress. And yeah, he’d soon have a brand new wad of life insurance cash coming his way. But . . . but, that was all an amazing coincidence.

But investigators learned, among other odd matters, that Crickitt had done a significant number searches on the internet pertaining to insulin overdoses, just before she died. In his previous years as a doctor, he had never done that. And there was plenty more evidence than that.

At Campbelltown Medical and Dental Centre, he wrote a prescription for quick-acting insulin for a patient who had no need for it at all. He then deleted the prescription from the clinic computer system – something he was never known to have done before. And after that, he drove to a drug store and had the unneeded prescription filled for one of his patients. Apparently this stethoscope twit failed to consider that a patient might ever testify they never got the prescription he wrote.

When is the last time YOUR doctor ran a pharmacy errand for YOU?

Christine Crickitt died from an insulin injection of that exact type, within hours.

“The Crown’s case is that on the night of December 31, the accused injected his wife in her buttock with a lethal dose of insulin with the intention of murdering her. He waited at home until she was either dead or comatose, so that without medical intervention she would die. He then left the house at 2:00 in the morning to spend the night with Linda Livermore.” (Crown Prosecutor Mark Tedeschi)


Get rid of the old wife using doctor skills; fetch a new wife using doctor charms.

Judge Clifton Hoeben, who heard the trial with no jury, determined that the doctor had indeed used a prescription written for one of his patients, to illegally obtain the insulin from a neighborhood pharmacy. The insulin he purchased was indeed the rapid absorption kind – the kind that kills quickly and leaves practically no trace in the system to be found on autopsy. The judge agreed with the Crown (the prosecution) that Crikitt’s motivation to kill his wife was certainly twofold: he wanted a future with his mistress, Linda Livermore – not his wife. And he wanted his wife’s life insurance payout, to help finance the adventure. She was insured in the amount of $565,000 in the event of her death.

This doctor was not the brightest bulb in the surgical suite: 2 days after his wife’s death he gave his mistress his dead wife’s car. Who’s gonna notice?

Christine Crickitt’s adult children by a previous marriage, noticed. And they testified in court they were stunned by their step-father’s weird behavior, like holding hands with some woman at the mortuary. And they were extremely upset and confused that he insisted their mother be cremated instead of buried.

The killer doctor, who’s been out on bail for 4 years entertaining his new lady while his case moved through the legal system, is now finally locked in a cage. He is scheduled to be  sentenced in early 2017.

Here’s another look:



Ever Ask a Nurse About Daffy Doc Behavior? We Don’t Have to Ask. They Tell us Every Day

Patients rarely are the direct targets of a physician’s disruptive behavior. When doctors hurl insults or instruments, they’re usually aiming at nurses. ‘How to Handle Disruptive Physician Behaviors’ – Rick Gessler, RN; Alan Rosenstein, MD; Liz Ferron, MSW

shouting doctor

“Just the other day, one of our private docs went into a tizzy while seeing one of his patients. He threw our blood pressure cuff against the wall because he couldn’t figure out how to use it. When the patient explained to him that her nurse had been using it all night, and it seemed to work just fine, the frustrated doctor said, “Well I didn’t go to nursing school!”


“LOL. I had a doc come find me one day because he wanted to turn off his patient’s IV fluids. So he walked all the way down our loooonnng hallway (seriously it’s really long) to find me and ask me if we could stop the patient’s fluids. I said ‘sure, just switch the pump off.’ He stared at me like I was speaking another language. So I had to walk all the way down the corridor to show him how to press the OFF button!”


“Years ago we admitted a lovely baby to our special care nursery for some respiratory observation. As one of the docs began his exam, he said sadly that, ‘this poor baby has Down’s Syndrome. Look at his eyes’. We looked at the baby and then at the parents at the window, and asked this idiot if he had met the parents yet – they were Asian, for God sakes! The baby was fine; the dumb doc was as embarrassed as he should have been, and the nursing staff was in stitches for a week.”


“One of my coworkers had a patient whose heart stopped beating at 2:00 a.m. After the code team arrived, the nurse called the patient’s primary physician to tell him. She said ‘Doctor, your patient is in heart failure and we’re trying to revive him. Doctor: “What happened?” (I think this question is pretty self explanatory. The guy’s heart stopped) Then the doctor goes on to say that he doesn’t believe it and we are trying to kid him. Sure, that’s what nurses do: we call doctors at 2:00 in the morning to kid about CPR. Ughhhhhhhh!!!”


“I’m sure we’ve all been there. Sometimes docs just say and do the craziest things. My example: at my last long term care facility, I had one doctor seriously outright fight giving pain meds (for patients who really, really needed them and were dying) According to him, ‘prescribing narcotics leads to methadone and crack usage.’

These poor patients have been here for years. This twit thinks these sad, dying folks are going to get better, jump out of bed, and dash out to buy crack cocaine? WHAAAA!!!!!”


“I was working med-surg my first year as a nurse. A doc wrote an order for a med my patient was allergic to. I brought it up and asked for a new order. The doc started yelling at me to ‘stay in my lane’. I started walking down the hallway to the nurse manager’s office when he heaved the patient’s chart at me, which bounced off the back of my head. The nurse manager told me that this particular doc, ‘often made mistakes like that.’

When I realize now, years later, how badly nurses allow themselves to be abused by these egotistical bastards, and how easily hospitals let it happen, I cringe.”


“We had a doc who was known to be a complete ass. One day I was working at the computer screen and suddenly felt something on my neck. I glanced back and saw what I thought was a little stuffed animal wrapped in plastic. I kept working. The doc was laughing behind me. It turned out the stuffed animal was a dead rat in a Zip Loc bag. Cannot imagine why three wives divorced this mental case.”


“Hate to say this, but at our nurses station, our favorite stories are the tons of clueless MDs who show up in shopping malls and restaurants while a full code on the floor suddenly happens  – and they have not the slightest idea how to run a basic CPR case. ACLS might as well be a Martian alien concept. You should hear the unbelievable stories the medics report to us about doctors on emergency scenes.”


“We have a female doc whose ego gets her into trouble at least once a month. Last week she came down to pronounce the death of a patient we had called her on. But this twit stopped listening to me halfway through the phone call, so when she got here she went into the wrong room and assessed the wrong patient. Then she came out told us that we didn’t know what the hell we were doing – the patient was still alive. Oh, it gets worse. She continued her refuse-to-listen-to-nurses routine. She went out and told the family that their mom was still alive. It took us an hour to comfort the family about the death that really did happen, and to convince them the doctor was not a total fruit-loop. We can’t wait for her next wacko escapade.”


‘America’s Dumbest Doctors’: How This One-of-a-Kind Book Came to be


We can’t know how you happened upon our little tirade, but we’re guessing you didn’t find our book next to the magazines in your physician’s waiting room. Pity, because we fail to see a better place for it. Still, your personal bookshelf will do nicely, in which case you may file this one under Reality Check, if you like, because that’s precisely what you hold in your hands.

Most MDs in the U.S. have a book nearby called the PDR – Physicians Desk Reference. Well, here’s a PDR of a different sort. Rest assured, in the realm of clinical diagnoses, A.D.D. no longer merely stands for Attention Deficit Disorder.

Some of you may wonder how America’s Dumbest Doctors came to be. It isn’t really that long a tale. For years we waited patiently (pun inescapable) for somebody of appropriate angst to come along, sort through the pyramid-of-Giza-sized accumulation of goof-ups, and assemble them into an enlightening work. It would have been particularly cool, we thought, had a doctor chosen to shine a penlight into the recesses of his or her own profession. After all, they do take such pride in policing themselves. An elucidation of physician faux pas was decades overdue.  So we tended to our own daily chores in disease care and we waited. We responded to 20,106 emergency calls, and we waited some more. And you know what? It just didn’t happen.

They just wouldn’t . . . you know . . . fess up.


“I was always under the impression that putting a doctor in jail was a rare event. My opinion changed recently when I discovered this book. The encyclopedia of doctor’s misbehavior. For me, it was a very interesting and a very painful read. BUT…. THANK GOD, I AM NOT LISTED INSIDE!”

Joseph J. Neuschatz M.D. dr-joseph-j-neuschatz


And so we began to wonder, who else might do such a project justice, if not doctors themselves? Well, nurses certainly could. Nobody on the planet, Lord knows, holds a more accurate view of inner sanctum lunacy than do these talented professionals. It is nurses, after all, who are insulted and assaulted, spat upon, pushed aside, denigrated, groped and more, all on a daily basis. So much so that within the sequestered halls of medicine (and not a few court rooms) a shameful phrase now echoes off the walls. It’s called “disruptive physician”demeanor which encompasses a wide-range of child-like deportment, sort of like the sixth-grader who tends to get mean, throw things around the classroom and generally fails to play well with others. By the year 2000, academia was replete with studies detailing the undeniable connection between nurses walking away from the profession, and physician foibles. The resulting impact on patient outcomes is ugly and obvious.


We suggest you keep right on trusting America’s medical commercials.

Yet even nurses, opting to protect their livelihoods, have always elected to remain relatively silent on the absurdities they endure so often. To be sure, a number of terrific exceptions have been penned over the years. Still, the ongoing circus of physician screw-ups, poop and boo-boos rolls merrily along everyday, does it not, preposterously under-published.


And we’ve always wondered why. Why no exasperated pharmacist with a prescription-scribbled migraine had yet taken up the pen. Why no maddened physical therapist, O.R. tech, nurse practitioner, administrator, x-ray pro, perfusionist, nor orderly has ever raged, “For God’s sake, enough!” and cleared the air. Going postal? How about somebody going “medical,” in righteous defiance, just once?


New York MD Nicholas Bartha, who blew himself up to spite his wife

For there exist, we now know, entire armies of health care experts with spooky tales to hoist your hackles, but you would scarcely guess it by visiting the library. Or by watching network news.

So after 25 years, with our personal pile of funny little notes bulging from a dust-covered briefcase, it finally dawned. Okay, so maybe we’re slow. But the torch was ours to carry. A paramedic would just have to do it. We, the ruffians in blue, those rogues of rescue, the only characters in the entire scheme of advanced medicine who run around outside, faces awash in the fresh air of clarity. It does, in the end, make perfect sense. Who else orchestrates advanced emergency treatment with not a singular hospital staff, but many dozens? Who else arrives on accident scenes time after time, to find bewildered physician-bystanders with literally no clue what to do, absent x-rays, labs and nurses to orchestrate the treatment plan? Who else, by virtue of our nifty 24-hour shifts, is likely to be around at all, to witness bonehead moves by doctors, at any hour of any day?

And so it comes to pass, from our unparalleled perspective, that three unequivocal points ought now be carved into the stone of medicine’s Rushmore:

  • Many of the finest primates in our country can be found wearing lab coats, and we owe them a huge debt of gratitude
  • Many of their wackiest peers graduated from the very same medical schools
  • Some of the most confounding characters in society scribe MD after their names

 And we thought you might want to know a little more about them.

It’s that simple. The birth of America’s Dumbest Doctors.

Have a terrific Halloween weekend, readers. Thank you for visiting us, and do watch out for at least these two spooks who have the nasty habit of hiding behind a friendly face:

Creepy Clowns & Daffy Doctors.


Halloween. Time to decide who the real spooks are.