In Washington DC there actually exists a medical job title called the Orthopedic Surgeon General of the U.S. Yes indeed. Now as many of you know, we already have a Surgeon General, the head of the Public Health Service (That’s their nifty warnings on every pack of cigarettes) The person who currently occupies the post of “Orthopod-Surg-Gen” is Doctor Brock Hammersley, and he has seen fit to take time out of his busy schedule to proclaim today a national holiday honoring – you guessed it – bones. Yes, today is National Bone Day.
“Bones mean a lot to me; they mean a lot to all of us in the orthopedic community, and they should mean a lot to every American with a skeleton.” explained Hammersley. “That’s why I’ve created National Bone Day. So we can reflect and maybe even toast a glass of milk.”
He went on to argue, and correctly so, we must admit, that without our bones known as the skeleton, the rest of our bodies would be weirdly fleshy puddles on the floor, which we’d all keep slipping and sliding on. We wouldn’t be breaking any bones, of course, but you can visualize the problem of bones vs no bones.
“When was the last time we all took a minute to thank our bones?” Hammersley asked. “We owe them gratitude for their service. They don’t get the glitz & glamour that the face does, nor the flashy PR of sexy abs. How fair is that?”
So now we suppose we can all look forward to other lab coat libertines naming future holidays after body parts. We kinda like Tummy Tuesday, and could really take a shine to National Navel Week.
But that’s just us.