The Twilight Zone Has Other Strange Rooms Too, Besides Healthcare

“Scales are very emotionally triggering for some people.” (Carleton University student)

Millenial Safe Space

Wonder what the 19-year-old sailors at Pearl Harbor would think of these crybabies


Just about the time you think you’ve heard it all, some freaky example of societal inanity pops up from left field to remind us that – lo & behold – our little imaginations are not quite capable of stretching far enough.

For it now comes to pass that an artsy-fartsy Canadian college by the name of Carleton University has determined that recognition of natural laws is too stressful to cope with. Specifically, they have announced that students need to be spared the indignity of the numerical value of their own weight. Yes, “gravity” is sending these poor adult-children into a tizzy. Mother Earth’s impolite habit of tugging on the human body has been declared a “stress trigger”, so the college has taken the only logical tack: remove the scales from the physical education department.

We’re guessing the next thing they criminalize is mirrors. Sometimes reflections can be downright rude.

The university’s decision to label gravity a “stressor” is, of course, entirely predictable, given academia’s mission: teaching students to substitute “feelings” for laws of nature.

But how surprised can we be, really, when so much of modern college education is no longer anchored in reality, but plods like a plow-horse, in lock-step with whatever the socially acceptable zeitgeist happens to be?

Of course there is a serious challenge with abandoning truth and replacing it with “feelings”. Where do you draw the logical line? Why stop with gravity?

In case you haven’t noticed the evening news, school children in their 20’s are on the march, demanding their right to “safe spaces”.

So here’s an idea: let’s eliminate numbers, especially the ones on those pesky Speed Limit signs. They certainly offend us.

You’ve got to hand it to the leaders of higher education, where laws of physics be damned. They strut to the artificial rhythms of the intellectually elite, showing us the way, because they know more than we do.

We ourselves are anxious to see just how much better off we’ll all be, with gravity shunned and numbers gone and words a thing of the past. (words make us downright twitchy) We’ll soon have our noses tucked so deeply into our phone-clone world, we won’t even notice the irritants of life. Logical thought will be gone, too, because reasoning can be a real bummer. But what the heck. We’ll finally be neatly folded and snug, burrowed into our very own, personal safe space.

Kinda like a coffin.

Here’s another peek into our “higher education” Twilight Zone:

Princeton banned “man-based” words, and California State University Fullerton, California State University Northridge, the University of Northern Colorado, and the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee seem to be drinking the same Kool Aid.


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