So Who the Heck’s Dumber? Health Pros or the Public?

Dunno. We’d say it might depend on how badly you need these warning labels:

Warning: May cause sleepiness. (Ambien Sleep Aid)

MED LABEL 1

Contains iron. (Good Neighbor Pharmacy Ferrous Sulfate)

Do not take capsules if allergic to zantac. (Zantac)

This formula may cause drowsiness. Do not operate heavy machinery or drive a vehicle. (Demazin Infant Drops)

MED LABEL 2

Take 1-2 teaspoons but only by mouth. (Prometh Cough Medicine)

Do not drive a car or run machinery. (Boot’s Childrens Cough Medicine)

Warning: Do not take if allergic to Aspirin. (Equate Aspirin)

WARNING: If an amount considerably larger than being swallowed is swallowed, contact a poison control center immediately. (Mentadent Duel Action Mouthwash)

Directions: Use like soap. (Dial Soap)

WARNING: Intentionally inhaling the contents can be harmful or fatal. (Fun & Fantasy Fluorescent Hair Color)

Keep out of reach of children. (AAFES Baby Oil)

MED LABEL 3

Warning: May contain foam. (Stridex Face Wash Foam)

Keep away from children. (Little Ones Baby Lotion)

Do not swallow. In case of ingestion call poison control. (Listerine Mouthwash)

Warning: Do not use this product on infants under 6 months of age. (Clearasil Antibacterial Acne Cleanser)

Do not use as an ice cream topping. (Epitome Hair Coloring)

Warning: Do not use while taking a shower. (G E Hairdryer)

WARNING: Do not smoke until hair is dry. (Clairol Herbal Essences Maximum Hold Hairspray)

Use only on underarms and not other sensitive places. (Old Spice Red Zone Deodorant)

And finally, our very own personal favorite healthcare warning label:

If breast-feeding, ask a health professional before use. (Children’s Dimetapp)

All because . . . you know . . . they’re looking out for us.

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