Medical Truths to Make us Laugh . . . and Think

The lady next door told me that her mother was pushing her to have a “natural delivery” with her first pregnancy. She answered her mom this way:

“Thanks to the 40 drug ads on TV every hour, I’ve been popping pills all my life. Why stop now when I’m really in pain?”


“Medical conventions must always be held in resort cities. It’s a law, based on the scientific principle that – in order to learn anything important – you must be able to either swim or ski after class.” (Mark DePaolis, MD)


“The easiest doctor job in the world is ‘coroner’. What’s the worst that can happen? If you do everything wrong, somebody wakes up.” (Dennis Miller)


“If all the drugs in the world as now used, were sunk to the bottom of the sea, human health as a group would immediately improve. Of course it would kill the fish.” (Oliver Wendell Holmes MD)


On the subject of good health:

“A person who is feeling well is simply a patient who hasn’t had the appropriate medical exams needed to find his or her disease.”  (Anonymous)


Two socialites were having lunch in Palm Springs. One of them said, “You should see my doctor. He’s terrific.”

“Why should I see your doctor? I’m feeling fine. There’s nothing wrong with me.”

“Well, my doctor is wonderful. He’ll find something. He always does.”


And lastly, we thought you might appreciate the medical definition of patient death:

“The ultimate state of the final common pathway that emerges, subsequent to a terminal, morbid event, culminating in the eventual cessation of animate bioprocesses.” (Doctors Thomas B Newman and Warren S Browner)

Have a super weekend readers, and never, ever allow the presence of a lab coat to trump your common sense.



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