Relax. Each of the little anecdotes listed under our new category Physician Phunnies is ridiculously untrue. You can move on to the ridiculously true after you’ve had time to fasten your emotional seatbelt.
This just in over the news wire: Internal medicine doctors in Lima, Ohio went out on strike this morning.
Hospital administrators told reporters they’ll be happy to consider their demands, just as soon as they can get a handwriting expert outside to interpret their picket signs.
* * *
(Doctor to bedridden patient) : “Of course you’re feeling crappy. Last year I gave you three months to live. You do the math.”
* * *
A dying elderly doctor looks up at his wife, who’s holding his hand with tears running down her face.
He smiles faintly and says, “I’ve been so lucky to have you. I am so very sorry for hurting you, with all those foolish affairs I had.”
“You just relax,” she answered. There’s no need for you to apologize for anything.”
The doctor shook his head. “But I really need to hear that you’ll forgive me.”
“Not at all,” she said. “Just lay back and let the blowfish serum work its magic.”
* * *
Overheard on a golf course one Sunday morning: “Hey, doc. There’s a rumor your wife took an amazing picture worth a half million dollars last week.”
“Nonsense,” said the surgeon as he placed his ball on the tee. “She’s an amature photographer. She’s marginally talented, at best. What could she possibly take a picture of worth that much money?”
“One of you and your mistress at that hotel on the beach.”
* * *