What Did He Say???

What follows is a smattering of the more than 2,000 rather bizarre statements written on patient medical charts by doctors nationwide.

And no. We’re not kidding.


“He is a healthy-appearing, decrepit, 69-year-old male, alert but forgetful.”

(Well, doc, you certainly cleared that up)

“I am unable to arouse this woman.”

(Not sure we’d put that in writing)

“While in the ER she was examined, x-rated and sent home.”

(Still think your hospital is better than our hospital?)

“This woman is numb from her toes down.”

(Note to hubby: it could be a lot worse)

“Lab tests indicate this patient has an abnormal lover function.”

(Well, we can’t all be Brad Pitt in the bedroom)

“Both breasts are equal and reactive to light.”

(Amazing what happens when you unsnap a living bra)

And finally . . .

“Examination of the genitals reveals that he is circus cized.”

(Well, now we’re feeling inadequate)

For lots more goofy things that doctors say, take a peek at “America’s Dumbest Doctors” which can be downloaded here:


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2 thoughts on “What Did He Say???

  1. someone says:

    I’m no fan of Doctors. Avoid them like the plague. However, that said, and as funny as the quotes are, I’m sure we can thank overworked and uninformed transcriptionists for these laugh makers. The doctor probably said “liver function” and “circumcised” etc. Still funny, though.

    • Someone –
      What you say is true in just about 50% of the cases, with regards to transcriptionist errors. But we can promise you at least half of the goofs we find are good ol’ daffy doc patient charting comments.

      Incidentally, if you’re interested in some truly hilarious examples, download a copy of our book, America’s Dumbest Doctors.” We have entire chapters devoted to just this subject.

      Thank you for writing.

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