Japanese Doc Tunes in to Bigger Breasts

Dr Hedeto Tomabechi

Dr Hedeto Tomabechi

Considering all the negative stories that keep pouring into our files each day, it somehow seems appropriate that we cover subjects now & then that are a bit more, uh, uplifting. And we think this one qualifies.

We all know that thousands of physicians worldwide slave away with the noble goals of wiping out cancer & heart disease. Not so, with Doctor Hideto Tomabechi in Tokyo. This man has applied his laser focus on the two things he loves most in this world: sounds and breasts. So five years ago, in the summer of 2008 his passions crystalized into “Rock Melon” – a ringtone that he believes stimulates female breasts to grow by just listening to it.


We could make this stuff up, but fortunately –  due to the earthly species called doctors walking around – we don’t have to.

Now, the basic premise behind Doctor Tomabechi’s “Rock Melon” idea is that a mature woman’s breast tissue will enlarge if she is exposed to the sound of a crying infant – over and over – for a long period of time. And apparently creating a ringtone that sounded like a baby, by simply recording a crying baby, just wouldn’t do. So our creative tata-focused genius decided it was imperative that he make the annoying, screeching, baby noises himself.

We’re guessing his wife thinks he’s quite the catch.

So in the end, Hideto Tomabechi has designed his Rock Melon sounds to transmit the subliminal cry of an infant, which supposedly influences the female brain. This, in turn, causes an instinctive switch to “motherhood mode,” resulting in the mammary glands to fill with milk.

As far as we can tell, the daffy doc does not cover the little matter of what women are supposed to do with all the milk they are producing, absent a new baby to feed.

Small matter. Want a larger cup size? listen to the Rock Melon ringtone two dozen times a day for a few days and presto. You’re off to Victoria’s Secret for new lingerie.

Stay tuned to more of Doctor Hideto Tomabechi’s future contributions to health care. We’re guessing they’ll be a hoot.


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