Is it Sunday?? Then it Must be Time for Physician Phunnies . . . .

We offer the following for your persnickety perspicacious preview:

An elderly gentleman on his deathbed is insisting that he be buried with all his money. He calls his most trusted friends – a priest, a lawyer and his personal physician – to his bedside.

“Here’s $240,000 cash to be divided among you equally. I’m trusting each of you to place your 1/3 into my casket when I’ve passed, so I can take it all with me.”

At the funeral each man places a sealed envelope into the coffin. As they ride away in the limousine the priest abruptly breaks down in tears and confesses, “I only put $60,000 in the envelope. We need $20,000 to repair the church roof.”

           “Well, since we’re being completely honest,” offers the attorney, “I only put $25,000 in the envelope myself. I do a lot of pro bono work for which I don’t get paid a cent.”

           The physician is stunned. “I’m ashamed of both of you. And I want it on record than when I placed my envelope into that casket, I enclosed a signed check for the full $80,000.”

___________

dr-behaving-badlt-artA fellow with back pain visits his doctor. He gets a brief checkup and a prescription. Irritated at the cursory exam, he asks if that’s all there is to it.

“Sure.  There’s not much more we can do than give you a pain pill.”

“But you haven’t run any tests. Maybe it’s more serious than a simple muscle pull.”

The doctor rolls his eyes, turns to leave the room, and comes back with his pet retriever. The dog takes one look, shakes his head slowly and walks away.  Then the nurse brings in a tiny Siamese kitten, who sniffs the patient, jumps down and sprints out the door.

At the front desk the man is handed a bill for $685. He nearly falls over.

“You people have a lot of nerve. How dare you charge me $685?  All he did was poke me a few times and write this prescription.”

 “The receptionist smiles condescendingly. “Yes, sir, and the exam itself is only $80. But the Lab test is $200 and Cat scan is $405.”

____________

A dying doctor looks up at his wife holding his hand with tears running down her face. He smiles faintly and says, “I’ve been so lucky to have you. I am terribly sorry for all those foolish affairs that I had.”

“You relax,” she says quietly. No need to apologize for anything.”

“But I need to hear you forgive me.”

“Not at all,” she replies. “Just relax and let the blowfish serum take care of everything.”

____________

A little girl turns to his grandfather, a retired psychiatrist with an irascible disposition. Little did the girl know that her grand-dad doctor that been mean to everybody, all his life, except to her. She looks at him and said, “Grandpa, talk like a frog.”

“What? I absolutely will not.”

“Ah, come on. Please? Just talk like a frog. Just once. Talk like a frog.”

“That’s nonsense. Where do you get these ridiculous notions?”

The little girl thinks about it for a moment, and then tells her grandfather that it was actually grandma’s idea.

“Well, I don’t believe grandma would say anything like that.”

“Oh yes she did. Grandma told the mailman that on the day you croak, we’re all going to Disneyland.”

(Excerpts from the book, “America’s Dumbest Doctors”)

Have a healthy weekend, readers. Thank you for joining us, and watch out for those lab coat loons.

 

The Impact of Mass Immigration on California Healthcare

Much of California’s medical care system totters precariously on the edge of a financial cliff, and the fault of this frightening reality is – to a large extent – not of their making. The tsunami wave of illegal aliens across the Southern border over the past 25 years is the major contributing factor.

illegal_immigrants

Do you honestly believe these characters will show any gratitude at all, toward American generosity?

When is the last time you heard the news media mention that?

As countless hundreds of thousands of Latin Americans descend upon our ERs – with absolutely no way to pay for their care – hospital administrations are forced to deal with the sobering fact that they will never be able to recover the cost of the services they provide.

Which, to a very large extent, explains why a jaw-dropping 85 hospitals and/or emergency rooms in California have closed their doors since 1990.

Don’t hold your breath for that news flash, either.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, there are 12,000,000 illegal aliens in the country. Other agencies list the number lower, at 10,000,000, or higher, at 20,000,000. One fact they all agree on: at least 30% of the uninvited have taken up sanctuary in the state of California.

disneyland_measles

Go ahead. Ask us how you could possibly get TB at Disneyland

In a bizarre twist that has all the hallmarks of an episode of the Twilight Zone, Paramedics and other medical professionals are legally forbidden to determine if patients are legal residents. So it is almost impossible to bill them. Because of this insanity, the exact number of illegal aliens treated by EMS, hospitals and walk-in clinics can only be estimated.

So if you don’t know how many are being treated, you have no accurate way to determine how much non-citizens are costing.

What is not in dispute, however, is that public hospitals up and down the west coast provide more than 50% of all outpatient treatment for the uninsured, and at least 75% of care that involves overnight stays. Collectively, they have shouldered the enormous burden of treating uninsured illegal aliens for decades, resulting in a situation both grave and often unsustainable.

As medical costs have continued to rise, revenues continue to fall, to the point where hospitals alone suffer estimated losses of $1,500,000,000 a year. Ultimately, economic reality means hospital closures, which eliminates critical care in communities large and small.

So 84 hospitals have already closed, and more are considering closure.

Another exasperating factor in the crisis is the Emergency Medical Treatment and Active Labor Act (EMTALA) which mandates that patients cannot be turned away by EMS teams or from any emergency room. EMTALA laws simply ignore the costs hospitals and ambulance companies must absorb, making it an unfunded – and therefore untenable – regulation.

Another rarely-discussed fact is that illegal immigration exposes American citizensand caregivers – to diseases which were largely eliminated in this country years ago, but are endemic in immigrants’ countries, such as drug resistant tuberculosis, malaria and leprosy. Paramedics and ER staff are now forced to receive an unending litany of prophylactic inoculations. And these shots come with their own risks.

Beyond the knee-jerk reaction by unthinking protesters, the fact is, there is nothing either anti-immigrant, or racist, about a nation insisting upon controlled, well-managed immigration. No successful society has ever allowed unfettered access by millions.

Out-of-control migration creates overpopulation in burgeoning cities, and many of these people are physically – or mentally – unwell. The non-stop influx of people not being physically examined before entry for contagious diseases, mental or emotional incapacities to function in a civil society, will without question expose Americans to unknown health risks. So from the healthcare perspective alone, the need to enforce immigration law is so obvious that any argument is mindless.

One dire outcome seems unavoidable: if nothing is done to reverse mass migration into a finite society, public healthcare may well become  the next American institution to disappear.

Kind of like the public phone booth.

The impossible nirvana of any single nation absorbing the world’s indigents, will injure the low-income and then middle-income citizenry first. Routine and even emergent care will become a luxury available for those with plenty of money, or excellent insurance.

So the medical formula for the near future? It just might become stunningly simple:

Allowing everyone who wants to cross our borders to do so? Only the wealthy will be healthy.

Incompetent Surgeon Gets Life in Prison

In a Dallas Texas courtroom this week a jury sent a former neurosurgeon to life in prison. He had repeatedly and carelessly killed and injured patients during surgeries he had no business trying to perform.

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Dr Christopher Duntsch, looking almost normal in a lab coat

The physician’s name is Doctor Christopher Duntsch, and during the sentencing portion of the trialwhich lasted 14 days – the prosecution reviewed the appalling history of this lab coat disaster, beginning with the years he spent in medical school. They focused on the premise that this so-called “surgeon” certainly knew he was incompetent all along – that he was routinely performing procedures he did not have the skills to do. But he bumbled through complex operations anyway. By finally determining the verdict of “guilty” the jury agreed.

Duntsch’s surgical outcomes were far, far worse than the accepted levels of common medical errors. So he was eventually arrested on 5 charges of Assault with a Deadly Weapon. Sadly, he injured and destroyed many lives before he was finally stopped. Because, as so often happens within the cloistered world of medicine, Duntsch was allowed to operate on patients at Dallas Medical Center, Baylor Regional Medical Center, Legacy Surgical Center in Plano and University General Hospital, even after he’d had one poor patient, Kellie Martin, bleed to death during an operation.

Plano surgeon Christopher Duntsch left a trail of bodies. The shocking story of a madman with a scalpel (Matt Goodman, Dallas Magazine)

This stunningly careless physician carved a swathe of human carnage in north Texas year after year. His best friend, for example, was a man named Jerry Summers, who made the mistake of trusting Duntsch to cut on his spinal chord. He had no way of knowing that Duntsch was an egomaniacal monster. So Jerry Summers is now totally paralyzed. And still, the surgical horrors continued. During the trial, the prosecutors detailed how at least 31 patients at 4 different medical centers, suffered serious unnecessary injuries in less than 2 years, in the hands of a madman.

Here’s another look at this recent healthcare embarrassment:

The Dallas Morning News did a good job chronicling the final day of testimony, including impact statements by some of his victims.

New Mexico Cardiologist Heads to Jail

A heart specialist in New Mexico was convicted last week of stealing money from Medicare – as well as numerous other insurance payers – by submitting fake medical bills.

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Dr Roy Heilbron

You’ll have to wait a bit while we conjure up our shocked face. Whhaaahh!

Does any other group of professionals pilfer more cash than America’s errant physician population? Are you ready for the short answer?

Doctor Roy G. Heilbron, age 53, confessed in a Santa Fe courtroom that he did indeed submit false claims for medical services at his clinic. His confession – now here’s a surprise – popped out of his mouth  just before he was about to stand trial on two dozen charges of grand theft.

The U.S. Attorney’s Office, in cooperation with the FBI in Albuquerque, had all they needed to prove in federal court that Heilbron had routinely filed fraudulent insurance claims to not only Medicare, but other carriers too, such as Blue Cross of New Mexico, in a scheme that began in January 2010 and went on for a year and one-half.

One elderly couple who spend vacation time in Santa Fe, simply dropped by his office one day to see if he could take them on as new patients, in the event they might need a local physician. They discovered a month later that he had billed their insurance carrier $40,000 for their visit. Heilbron had created fake medical bills to support his imaginary care and 3 dozen treatments and tests on them – all in less that an hour.

The couple realized right away that something was smelly in Stinkyville, so they contacted the New Mexico State Medical Board. And Heilbron’s “let’s play doctor so I can get rich” scam was up.

The FBI discovered that Heilbron often defrauded the government’s medical insurance program, by performing unnecessary exams on new patients, and recording false diagnoses to justify them. He would make up imaginary patient symptoms on medical charts and even attach false ultrasound images.

Because a depressing amount of U.S. healthcare is . . . well, pretend healthcare.

Heilbron, who was supposedly a cardiologist before his turn toward crime, had already been spanked on the tushy by both the New Mexico and Florida state medical boards. And now he could get a 2-year term in federal prison when he is sentenced.

In keeping with U.S. healthcare’s vapid excuse for physician discipline, the Florida State Medical Board still lists this lab coat Whack-a-Mole as “a physician in good standing” on their website.

So go ahead. Gin up your own shocked face. We know you can do it if you put your mind to it.

shocked-face

A Doctor?? Stealing insurance money? Faking medical tests?? WHHAAAHH!

 

What Do U.S. Physicians Have to Say About Female Genital Torture by Immigrants? Nothing

More than 500,000 women and girls in the U.S. are at risk of undergoing female genital mutilation, a barbaric custom long practiced in African and Mid-Eastern countries, but has been illegal in the U.S. for 20 years. Unfortunately, when a nation becomes a melting pot for every culture – regardless of how inhumane their religious practices might be – that nation  also becomes a magnate for some truly gruesome behavior. 

A report on how often this wicked ritual occurs – and which is now an ugly American reality – was published last January by the Centers for Disease Control, and the numbers of tortured female victims was well beyond previous guesses. The non-profit Population Reference Bureau also revealed that in major cities such as Los Angeles and  New York, Washington DC and Minneapolis, some immigrant communities are quietly performing shocking physical abuse behind closed doors.

What do traditional pediatricians and child psychiatrists have to say, after treating victims of this torture? Pretty much nothing.

Female genital mutilation, also called cutting or FGM, involves partial or total removal of the external genitalia for non-medical reasons. About 30% of the estimated 500,000 victims at risk are children. But when have you ever heard your local hospital even mention this subject?

The FBI is actively investigating tips on this uncivilized torture, knowing that medical providers stay silent. They hope victims and community members and medical professionals will come forward and report what they know.

Early last year, the FBI and U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) recognized the International Day of Zero Tolerance for Female Genital Mutilation. The United Nations leads the zero-tolerance campaign, and they estimate that at a jaw-dropping 200,000,000 girls and women have undergone FGM worldwide.

Those who support this scourge claim they are following “God-ordained rituals”. But what is really happening, is male-dominant cultures exercising deep-rooted subjugation of females, to the extreme.

In spite  of being a crime in the U.S., the practice continues. “We believe some of it is being conducted by physicians, nurses and midwives – and some by female elders within the communities called cutters,” said FBI Special Agent Kerry Sparks, who focuses on FGM cases as part of the FBI’s International Human Rights Unit.

After the U.S. finally made the decision in 1996 to call  FGM  a crime, many Muslim families started sending their young women back to their home countries to have the procedure done there. In 2012, Congress passed additional legislation – the Transport for Female Genital Mutilation Act – which made “vacation cutting” illegal.

Not that such a law can seriously be enforced. So very, very few arrests ever happen.

In 2005, two Southern California immigrants confessed to charges related to performing FGM on two children. In 2006, an Ethiopian man living in Georgia was convicted on charges of aggravated battery and cruelty to children, for performing FGM on his 2-year-old daughter. But for every arrest made, 100,000 others happen behind closed doors.

Unfortunately, it is a rare occasion when a traditional medical professional steps forward to report this butchery to law enforcement. Most states don’t even have laws against FGM, because the last thing they care to address is  widespread immigrant crime.

Our argument here is simple: for medical professionals to tolerate child and women torture, by failure to report what they see, all in the name of “diversity,” is immoral.

(The Department of Justice and the FBI include enforcement of this specific law)

Here are some other reputable, educational sources:

Troubled Florida Doctor Found Dead in the Ocean

A Florida doctor who was found guilty 3 years ago of drug-dealing has now been found dead in the ocean, in the city of Tampa.

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Dr Aaron B Roush, arrested in 2013

Tampa Police Department announced they have identified the man, whose body was discovered floating at the Port last Friday, as that of Doctor Aaron B Roush.

Roush, age 48, had a history of getting into trouble with the law. Polk County detectives arrested him 4 years ago and he was later convicted, of operating his Lakeland clinic as a front for narcotic drug dealing. Appropriately, he had named his clinic Uphoria.

Investigative reporters with 10News in Tampa learned that Roush was embroiled in numerous legal battles at the time of his death.

Roush’s career as a physician came to an abrupt end after Polk County undercover agents, posing as patients, busted him peddling pain killers for cash back in 2013. A search warrant revealed illegal drugs in the trunk of his car.

In exchange for a guilty plea at the time, Roush was put on probation and ordered by the State Medical Board to never treat patients again. But he violated the terms of his probation last summer in Tampa, when he vandalized the elevator in his downtown condo.

Rouse was scheduled to go to court on a Criminal Mischief charge for damaging the elevator, at the end of this month. And he had another court date for violation of probation in March. But last Friday, Tampa Port employees found him floating in the water.

Tampa Police said Roush’s toxicology report will take at least several weeks. His former wife, Natalie Gonzalez, told 10News that with all the tragedy he had been through, she wouldn’t be surprised if his own actions contributed to his death.

“I would be shocked if toxicology doesn’t come back with something in his system. I think suicide is a real possibility. He was very depressed.”

A police records check revealed that Roush had also been arrested several times for domestic violence.

Tampa Police said they have no evidence that the troubled doctor was murdered.