The Case of the Double-dipping Dimwit . . .


Here’s a case that was taking place in Oregon exactly 10 years ago . . . .

In the city of Gresham a physician who had sex with a patient on multiple visits and then dutifully charged the state $5000 for his special “treatments,” has been jailed for 30 days and embarrassed by the local TV news.

Doctor Randall J. Smith, age 50 at the time of his arrest, had medically counseled an unnamed adult patient that massaging her vaginal “trigger points” would ease her lower back pain, and who was she to debate treatment modalities with a doctor, for heaven’s sake?  This would involve sexual intercourse, he explained patiently. But thank goodness we have physicians in this world willing to take on serious sacrifices for their citizens in need.

All in the wacky world of medicine

All in the wacky world of medicine

Smith, who holds a doctorate in osteopathy, would then direct his office staff to methodically bill the Oregon Health Plan for these 45-minute, wonders-of-nature encounters, all of which were performed at the Adventist Health Medical Clinic.

I know you can't resist

I know you can’t resist

And if they had just left him alone all would have been peachy. It was, after all, a win-win formula. The doc got happy and the doc got paid and the patient thought it was cool enough to tell other people all about her special treatments. What could possibly go wrong?

Alas, upon learning of these therapeutic passion-sessions, the state insurance provider, Oregon Health Plan,  became considerably less affectionate than was Doctor Randall Smith himself.  In fact they raised hell.

Anyway, after his 30-day jail time for insurance theft, Smith was sentenced to perform 200 hours of community service. (no word if he had any say in what kind of service) He was ordered to pay the whopping sum of $1,105 in fines. He was put on probation for 18 months and had his medical license revoked by the state.

Although he pleaded guilty to submitting false health care claims, which happens to be a felony, Smith maintained that sex with the 47-year-old woman was consensual.

We suspect it probably was consensual, because when typical, medicine-worshipping patients find themselves in a closed room with a doctor, they tend to go along with just about anything – up to and including the preposterous. There does in fact exist – after all – an unwritten, immutable law of the cosmos:

When in the presence of a lab coat – for God sakes, stop thinking.

So now you know, and here’s a look at what happened when this particular stethoscope stud crossed state lines to start over, which is what the typical doctor in deep doo-doo does:

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Doctor Posed as Dead Patient for Two Years to Get Drugs. Cool!

“Yes, I treated patients when I was ‘high’ on drugs.” (Kent Swaine, surgeon)

Dr Kent Swaine

Dr Kent Swaine


A Las Vegas physician confessed in federal court last December that he was able to get prescription drugs by pretending to be one of his dead patients when he went to neighborhood pharmacies.

Doctor Kent Swaine, age 50, was therefore found guilty of the Felony of “obtaining controlled substances by fraud.” He was sentenced to 5 years probation and 150 hours of community service.

Swaine stepped into deep doo-doo when law enforcement learned he was writing prescriptions for himself under the name of Alexander Hyt, a patient who had conveniently died of cancer in August 2011. The daffy doc posed as the previous Mr. Hyt at drug stores, in order to keep the anti-depressants and painkillers coming, right up till his arrest in December, 2013.

Swaine operated a cosmetic and vascular surgery clinic located at 5380 South Rainbow Boulevard in Las Vegas, until his state medical license was finally suspended in January 2014. At the time, he tested positive for amphetamines, benzodiazepine and opiates.

Oh, that’s just terrific.

On the day of his sentencing in Nevada U.S. District Court, Judge Richard Boulware ordered Swaine to write a letter of apology to the Hyt family, and then said this:

“Your addiction placed other people at risk,”

The case was prosecuted by Assistant U.S. Attorney Crane Pomerantz.

Here’s another look:

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Bank-Robbing Doctor Headed to Federal Prison

Dr Damian Newhart Robbing Bank of the West, Huntington Beach California

Dr Damian Newhart Robbing Bank of the West, Huntington Beach California

Yet another disgraced doctor is now getting a legal kick in the pants over some pretty bizarre shenanigans – namely, robbing banks. Now, we could make this stuff up, but with all the garbage behavior by so-called healthcare providers among us – why would we have to?

Doctor Damian Loren Newhart, age 41, is an Orange County California dentist whose medical license to treat patients was revoked last July. He had been running the tired, drug-prescriptions-for-cash scam, you see. And when the Dental Board of California learned that he was routinely prescribing Valium, Vicodin, hydrocodone, Norco, diazepam and Viagra to people with no medical need – which he did for at least three years – they pulled his license. Newhart had been operating a Laguna Niguel orthodontic clinic up till then.

So what’s a befuddled doc to do? He had to earn a living. So why not a seven-bank crime spree that started in November 2014 and ending with his capture in January. According to the FBI, Newhart got away with just over $20,000 for his efforts.

In federal court, Newhart pleaded guilty to three bank robberies and confessed to four others, according to Assistant U.S. Attorney Christopher Kendall: U.S. Bank; OneWest Bank; Bank of the West, followed by Citibank branches in Santa Monica, Hermosa Beach, Huntington Beach and Manhattan Beach.

Nicknamed the “Rolled Sleeves Bandit” by the FBI, Newhart will spend the next five years in a federal prison,

Here’s another view of this daffy doc’s case:

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Our Observations:

Quick quiz: Let’s play a game. Find us ONE other serial bank robber in U.S. history who got a 5-year prison sentence.

Go ahead. We’ll send you a crisp $5 bill for the elucidation.

Because, well, that’s the kind of mood we happen to be in tonight.

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Arkansas Doc to Patients: ‘Peek-a-Boo! I See You!

Sometimes they look almost respectable

Sometimes they look almost respectable

A Jonesboro-area gynecologist has been sent to state prison for 3 years for secretly filming his nude female patients in medical exam rooms.

Doctor Paul Becton, age 69, chose to change his “not guilty” plea to  “guilty” in Greene County Circuit Court yesterday, to charges of video voyeurism, after which Circuit Judge Barbara Halsey sentenced him to 36 months in jail, to be served at the Arkansas Department of Corrections. The doctor was also ordered  to register as a sex offender and fulfill obligations under the Sex Offender Registration Act.

State investigators testified they discovered many images of naked women on the doctor’s cellphone that appeared to have been taken in a medical office. Becton faced five counts of video voyeurism. He was arrested at a Newport motel and released after posting $500,000 bail and surrendering his passport.

Never ignore the 'creep-factor'

Never ignore the ‘creep-factor’

District Attorney Scott Ellington of the Second Judicial District, stated that each of the doctor’s victims agreed to Becton’s brief prison term in order to avoid testifying their experiences in open court.

Dr Paul Becton

Dr Paul Becton having a very bad day

“This doctor will never practice medicine again. He will be under law enforcement supervision as a registered sex offender for the rest of his life,” Ellington said.

Becton was found responsible for taking nude photos of patients without their knowledge, one of whom was 14 years old. He had provided obstetrics and gynecological services in Arkansas for three decades prior to his arrest last April, operating The Becton Women’s Clinic, located at Arkansas Methodist Medical Center in Paragould.

Here’s another take on the case:

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Our Observations:

“This doctor will never practice medicine again.”

An open note to D.A. Scott Ellington:

Wanna bet?

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Reader Ron Slade Sr. commented:

“I well remember when doctors walked the hall of our hospital like so many SS agents. Arrogant and condescending, all they lacked was a riding crop, monocle and totenkopf insignia. Quick to criticise others. They felt themselves above reproach.

A money driven health care system produces these kinds of people, and only fools or cowards defer to them.”

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